So that's two bottles of bourbon, twenty beers and four clubs to room one oh one... and if it isn't here in fifteen minutes we'll set fire to the hotel.
Andrea Merdoch ordering from room service in SHADE #64
"You mean you want to help the people who've been hurt?"
"Actually, I was thinking more about me and my quality of life. But if people get helped as a byproduct I can live with it."
Sinita and Shade in SHADE #64
Hell... the most awful place you can imagine. Currently under new management, now guaranteed to be even worse.
STANLEY AND HIS MONSTER #1
"Zzzxxynax (Spit/Drool) Bite-your-dog's-head-off Zznoq?"
"Here."
Remiel calling attendance in Hell, in STANLEY AND HIS MONSTER #1
Earth... the most awful place you can imagine, if you live in Los Angeles. Other than that, it's pretty neat.
STANLEY AND HIS MONSTER #1
"Hey, here's some more stuff from the Bicentennial! (ahem) 'My friends, taxes are too high and the government treats us like idiots, so I'm revolting.'"
"At least you had an excuse."
Stanley and his monster, in STANLEY AND HIS MONSTER #1
"Look, here's a book."
"Not another copy of Jonathan Livingston Seagull, is it?"
Stanley and his monster, in STANLEY AND HIS MONSTER #1
Yum, genuine polyester!
The monster, in STANLEY AND HIS MONSTER #1
Better get going; your parents still think me imaginary, and I'd hate to shatter an illusion like that before dinner.
The monster, in STANLEY AND HIS MONSTER #1
"Take this book back to my room, and don't eat it!"
"Stanley, you wound me. I already have this delicious stack of National Geographics, thank you."
Stanley and his monster, in STANLEY AND HIS MONSTER #1
"Great! Tomorrow we find the right tree!"
"What're our criteria?"
"One you won't break."
Stanley and his monster, in STANLEY AND HIS MONSTER #1
"Hell sounds like a very silly place. Don't you miss it?"
"No. Not even a little, Stanley. You see, we'd... play tricks on each other all the time... but nobody was your friend. Not really. Nobody was anybody's friend."
The monster reminiscing, in STANLEY AND HIS MONSTER #1
That is quite enough. I mean really, Stanley, I'm afraid you've exceeded your special effects budget for this entire month. Not to mention the casting calls I've had to sit through. I'm afraid that you'll be dreaming about the ocean for the next several weeks. I happen to have a lot of it in stock. Perhaps it will calm you down. Good night.
Morpheus, Lord of Dreams, makes a nicely characterized guest appearance in STANLEY AND HIS MONSTER #1
"So what's so bad about her?"
"To answer that, Stanley, I'd have to tell you about the birds and the bees... and the chainsaws, and the weasels, and the icepicks, and the acid, and the..."
The monster's introduction to his lady-love Nyx, on the cover of STANLEY AND HIS MONSTER #2
"Aha! I knew I'd find you here!"
"Huh? Well, good for you. Now it's your turn to hide."
Weevil Dendrite and Ambrose Bierce in STANLEY AND HIS MONSTER #2
"'Disreputable Urban Magicians and Sorcerors Union' Oh...sorry."
"Ah, s'not your fault. You learn the basics, have a hideous experience in a graveyard, they give you a trenchcoat and steal your razor. Like an assembly line, really."
Weevil Dendrite and Ambrose Bierce in STANLEY AND HIS MONSTER #2
I've created my own form of divination. One that allows me to capture the currents of chaos in mid-motion and study the fluxes themselves. I call it-- JELLOMANCY!
Weevil Dendrite explains his magic, in STANLEY AND HIS MONSTER #2
"And you're a rhymer now. How... nice."
"Like it? Actually I'm still just apprenticing. They've been starting me off slow. Enchantments, prophecies of doom, greeting cards, stuff like that."
The monster and Nyx, in STANLEY AND HIS MONSTER #2
You'll die gloriously, I promise you. Well, actually, you're going to die slowly and painfully, but it's nothing a little editing won't fix.
A battle-enraged Nyx, in STANLEY AND HIS MONSTER #2
Luckily, every good story is allowed one astounding coincidence. The writer has decided to cash his in now.
In Phil Foglio's STANLEY AND HIS MONSTER #2
That does it! I cannot understand why everybody speaks so well of 'subtlety.' It never works, I don't know why I even try anymore!! Now!! Tell me, mortal scum, where is he?!
Nyx throws in the towel, in STANLEY AND HIS MONSTER #2
"Yes, that hideous thing that looked like my wife!"
"I beg your pardon?!"
"But Sheila, I didn't... I mean, she really was lovely--"
"Is that so?"
"But it was a hideous evil sort of lovely!"
Wedded bliss, in STANLEY AND HIS MONSTER #3
"But what did they call you?"
"'Big-shaggy-red-spirit-dog-who-protects-village.' It's not like there were a lot of us around."
Stanley's mother and the monster in STANLEY AND HIS MONSTER #3
"I don't think you can fit under the bed."
"Oh, there are some ladies who'd tell you otherwise."
Stanley and Ambrose Bierce in STANLEY AND HIS MONSTER #3
"Do you happen to know that consciousness is the creature of rhythm?"
"No, but if you hum a few bars..."
"Humf. You are not him."
"(Boy, and I thought the the Church of the Sub-Genius was weird.)"
Stanley's father and a servant of Moxon in STANLEY AND HIS MONSTER #3
"Okay, we've got all the ingredients for 'spaghetti'. You know, I think this would be pretty good if you threw in some turpentine and a few centipedes."
"I think the first time out we should just stick to the recipe."
The monster and Stanley in STANLEY AND HIS MONSTER #3
"Where are we, Mr Bierce?"
"There are many realms between the spheres of life and death, Stanley. No magician can explore them all."
"You don't know."
Ambrose Bierce and Stanley in STANLEY AND HIS MONSTER #4
"I'll be curious to see what he thinks Hell is."
"Garn, I hope he ain't British. Some of that stuff them people dream up... it's enough to gag a maggot."
Demons awaiting Stanley's arrival in Hell in STANLEY AND HIS MONSTER #4
What kind of theological education are kids getting today?!
An highly-annoyed goofy-looking orange demon in STANLEY AND HIS MONSTER #4
Bar-B-Q sauce? Damnit, Nyx, what do you think that will do, you ignorant-- Uh-oh. Oh no! Cerberus? Buddy? Good dog?
Glyfford gets a sinking feeling in STANLEY AND HIS MONSTER #4
I'm here for the FBI, not the Weekly World News.
Scully in X-FILES #1
"That isn't the real Shroud of Turin, is it?"
"No, Agent Mulder. Just a replica. I keep the original in the basement, next to the Holy Grail."
Mulder and Mr. Newton in X-FILES #1
"You're off the case! Go chase Bigfoot!
"I'd love to, Sir, but with all due respect, the season is wrong. Bigfoot sightings taper off in the winter. Unless you were suggesting I go to China, where reports of a beast-man are..."
The Smoking Man and Mulder in X-FILES #1
Mulder! We are not alone!
Scully in X-FILES #1
"Everyone else got to read the Fatima prophecy... and all I got was this lousy T-shirt." Thanks. I'll treasure it always.
Mulder gets a Christmas gift from Scully in X-FILES #1
It would be such a relief to think my sister's happy, but when I look up at the heavens, all I see are the stars.
Mulder in X-FILES #1
"Hey, Mulder... how was therapy?"
"Pretty good. Today I remembered getting my first library card. Unfortunately, the name on it was Hans Holzer."
Scully and Mulder reassemble their memories in X-FILES #2
"Ah, you remember our names, Mulder. Recovering?"
"Still some gaps, Byers. The phrase 'Rosebud' rings a bell, but I can't place it."
Mulder and Byers, in X-FILES #3
"You know, when we heard you'd debunked Neola, we were afraid you'd gone over to the other side."
"Nah -- the hours stink but the pay's good."
Frohike and Mulder, in X-FILES #3
"Congratulations. You're finally meeting one of those magical creatures you've spent so much time looking for. "
"Funny... you don't look like a leprechaun, Lieutenant Colonel Dunne."
Dunne and Mulder in X-FILES #3
"Mulder... this disk wouldn't contain Pentagon access codes, would it?"
"Actually it's Doom II. You know how the Bureau frowns on computer games."
Scully and Mulder in X-FILES #3
Now that you're dead, Mulder and Scully and Drake, as dead as the trees in December, maybe you can understand what it is that I am.
The narrator, in X-FILES #7
Our friend believes that, unlike us working stiffs, he lives backwards and forwards in time.
Mulder, in X-FILES #7
And all the while, the computers dreamed of zeroes and ones -- unable to imagine a two.
The narrator, in X-FILES #7
"Who are you?"
"Oh, pardon me ... Zachary T. Paleozogt, at your service. But you can call me Zot!"
Jenny and Zot, in ZOT! #1
Welcome, one and all, to the far-flung future of -- 1965!
Zot, in ZOT! #1
"Aww, c'mon! Where's your sense of fun?"
"I'm the standard model, Zachary. 'Fun' was optional."
Zot and Peabody, in ZOT! #1
Guards! Guards! Stop this madman! He's turning everyone into monkeys!
A sudden intrusion, in ZOT! #1
"My, how you've grown!"
"C'mon, it's only been a week and a half!"
Uncle Max and Zot, in ZOT! #2
"How about you -- what're you up to?"
"Issue #3."
Vic and Zot, in ZOT! #3
Y'see, I figure I've got two choices at my stage. I can try to make my world grow bigger, or I can let it get smaller -- and if I don't do the one then the other's gonna happen in time...
Uncle Max, in ZOT! #3
I'm sorry I became abusive just now ... calling you worms... I was just speaking relatively, you understand.
Dekko, in ZOT! #3
"Ah, the stench of evil is about this place!"
"Actually, I think that's air-freshener."
Prince Drufus and Vic, in ZOT! #4